I called the crematory again to schedule the pick-up. When the driver arrived, he was surprised that he was back at this address. I assured him this would be the last trip for a while. He took my dad out and I signed the paperwork. The nurse from Home Hospice gave me some helpful advice and the name of a book from our brief conversation that she thought I would like to read. That book is The Disappearance of the Universe, by Gary R. Renard. I keep this book in my library.
I went home about 7 am to see my live-in girlfriend and dogs. When I arrived, she was getting her coffee. I said my father died. She said, I know you texted me at 3 am. Then she turned to tend to her coffee. I said that’s all you have for me? She asked what I wanted. I said nothing and that we are done. The live-in relationship of 2 years ended. Fast forward a month and she had not found a place to live. So, she came with me to live at my dad’s house temporarily. Separate rooms. I planned to update this house and decide what to do next year.
I have been going to Nantucket for the past 6 years to a good friend’s house. This year is was just me and my soul mate rescue dog. These 16 days would be a reset for me. For the first 3 days I just sat in the chair and watched the white lace curtains blow in the ocean breeze. I could feel the stress starting to lessen the second day. My dog Reed and I walked the beaches and just laid low. Then Reed started to act odd. Not eating much, lost some weight, and had the look of a sad dog. We loaded the truck and headed home Saturday afternoon. Sunday, I called the Vet ER and in we went.
The ER wanted to run tests which I agreed. Anything for Reed. They came back with the test results and asked to keep Reed overnight to observe him and treat him. I reluctantly agreed and went home alone to that home that used to be bustling with activity. Now, it is just a house with solemn silence. The ER called to tell me that Reeds liver had given out and he is at stage 4. Reed was my soul mate dog rescue. We bonded immediately. I could think of going for a walk and Reed would be at my feet ready. I picked up Reed and he laid in the comfy chair next to my desk. I quickly realized that Reed was not feeling well at all. I called the ER and scheduled our appointment to have read put to sleep. He died with his head in my lap as I sat on the floor. He went quickly and that was some comfort. I went out to the car to release my emotions and compose myself so I could drive.
Looking back, this 60-day period changed my life in every way. The one thing I knew was that I did not want to be here anymore. I overcame these events through a healing process that I credit to my learned skills. I have been a Reiki Master for the last 15 years and a meditator for as long. What this eighteen months taught me is we can all create the lives we want. I went to work, focusing on what I cold cobble together for what I wanted in the near term.
The result of the work I did has placed me squarely in the best years of my life. Today, I am with the eternal love of my life, no debt, and a beautiful home full of love, with close friends that feel more like family. My struggles, challenges, and the heinous harassment of a disturbed family member after my parents’ death have transitioned me into who I am today. This recovery never ceases to amaze me. I hosted an International Intention group and coach people as need.
What I did was nothing short of amazing. I truly believe anybody can transform their lives with the right coaching, belief in yourself, and the belief you will succeed in Business and Life. No two paths are the same. It is not as much the path you take, it is the choices you make while on that path, that make the difference. My belief for decades:
“If you believe you can, or if you believe you can’t, you are right” Henry Ford
